A San Francisco ad agency status meeting was brought to an abrupt halt Monday by an attention-seeking three-year-old who also happens to be the son of executive creative director, Tom Goodman.  

The child boldly entered the meeting dressed as Spider-Man and wielding a sippy cup full of oat milk. 

At first, he could only be seen at the edge of the frame spinning in circles and muttering something akin to “Dada boo boo, Dada boo boo.” Eventually, he got so dizzy, he fell to the ground and bumped his head,” notes production assistant Cathy Callaway. “But then he caught a second wind, popped up, and began licking the laptop camera.”

Agency staffers, initially caught off guard by the interruption, didn’t know how to react. “We assumed Tom would holler for the nanny to collect the kid, but instead he began clapping along, singing the Spider-Man theme song,” says junior copywriter, Jenny Evans. 

While those in attendance undoubtedly found the intrusion annoying, they embraced the opportunity to suck up to their boss by feigning interest in the child’s onscreen antics. 

Kelly Bauer, account exec on the coveted Scaredy Cat Kitty Litter account, jumped in first with comments like,  “Wow, is that really Peter Parker?” and “Don’t wrap me in your web, Spidey!” The toddler, who goes by the name Satchel, responded to Bauer’s pandering with the nonsensical retort, “I’m wearing  poopie shirt.” Satchel then squealed and dragged his grubby fingers across his father’s keyboard. Then, for no particular reason, he added: “You a toilet face.”  

Emboldened by the attention, however, the child seized the opportunity to introduce the group to his rather large collection of action figures while his father kept repeating, “And who’s that?” The beleaguered staff listened attentively as the kid ticked off the names of nearly a dozen superheroes, including Aqua Man, the Green Lantern, and Stick Man—a Waldorf-inspired figurine that’s really just a hunk of driftwood. 

Undeterred by the toddler’s incessant rant, one digital marketing firm staffer, Dwayne Clutterbuck went so far as to request, “Spider-Man, will you help us with an ad campaign!” Satchel wisely ignored this request.  Those in the know speculate that the toddler may have instinctively known that Clutterbuck has a reputation for passing his work off onto others. 

The interruption was going on nearly five minutes when project manager, Denise Cartwright Blurted out “Your Spidey Sense should tell you we have a lot of work to do.” Asked about it later, Cartwright said, “I thought I was on mute, but I’m kinda glad he heard.” 

At press time, Cartwright had not yet been passed over for a promotion for suggesting her boss's child should be seen and not heard.

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