No large gatherings means no family drama. Plus, you’ll never run out of white meat.
2020 was clearly the worst year in history. A global pandemic, racial injustice, political upheaval, wildfires, murder hornets. Fortunately, advertising execs are masters at burying the negative and promoting the positive. Thanks to ad people, generations of children ate bowls of sugar cereals, filled with high fructose corn syrup and we said it was, “Part of this nutritious breakfast.” Not the nutritious part. But who cares. See, positivity!
It’s in this spirit that this San Francisco ad agency has agreed to re-brand the worst year in history as the “New and Improved Roaring Twenties.” So let’s put all this nonsense about the apocalypse behind us. Because there are, in fact, plenty of reasons to be thankful for the shit-show that is 2020.
2020 is the year a 107-year-old lady cheated certain COVID death and celebrated with a Bud Light. Worst year ever? Hell no.
Reason #1
You Can Blame Your Failures on External Forces
In 2020, it was easy to blame world events for your own stupidity. If, for example, you were laid off for gross incompetence, or stealing office supplies, or just being lousy at your job, it was easy to pass yourself off as another victim of the economic collapse. No one had to know you were actually laid off because the company considered you an insurance risk. And because you were laid off, that pending HR investigation into your behavior at the office holiday party became a moot point. (Innocent until proven guilty, right?) That makes 2020 a great year to be a thoroughly ineffectual boob.
Reason # 2
A Family-Free Holiday Season
For Americans that believe in science, this is the one year when you’re actually not supposed to spend the holidays with extended family. How great is that? No passive-aggressive conflicts with your mother-in-law. No creepy great uncle that’s overly affectionate with your teenage daughters. And no heated debates with your redneck cousin who still insists the election was rigged. It’s also a boon for broken families. No need to attend a 4 pm Thanksgiving meal at your mother’s suburban townhouse and then slink out, drive downtown, and sit for a second dinner at your dad’s pied-à-terre, which he currently shares with his 28-year-old girlfriend.
Reason #3
Less Keeping Up with the Jones’
No need to spend money on luxuries you can’t afford. This is 2020. You didn’t go anywhere! No large gatherings meant zero dollars spent on fancy dresses you can only wear once. Ditto for shoes, handbags, and even soap. (Well, maybe, that last one is just me.) No money spent on new work clothes since no one ever saw what was going on below the waist (unless you’re Jeffrey Toobin). Sure you spent a little bit more having drugs and alcohol delivered, but that’s so much cheaper than dinners out with your pompous friends who insist on ordering the most expensive bottle of wine when, in actuality, they couldn’t tell a bottle of Screaming Eagle from Boone’s Farm. Truth be told, if you didn’t lose your job, you probably saved more money than ever before.
Reason #4
The Pandemic Saved Our Democracy
Joe Biden will soon be president. But his victory was no landslide. It’s safe to assume that had the Trump Administration not thoroughly mishandled the Corona Virus he may well have been re-elected. So while our hearts hurt for the many families who lost loved ones to this horrible disease, we hope there’s some comfort from knowing their death was not in vain. With a new president about to take office, and a vaccine set to be distributed by year’s end, this pandemic may have actually saved the republic.
Reason #5
Fewer School Shootings
It sucked not having our kids in school and online learning is a pain. But, on the bright side, there have been far fewer school shootings since this insanity began. In 2019, there were around 130 incidents of gunfire on school grounds. In 2020, there were only 62! (Even for ad people, it’s tough to make 62 school shootings into a positive, especially with 98 percent of schools closed from March until September, but we’re trying.) But there’s more good news: With all the kids stuck learning at home, bulletproof backpacks no longer top the Christmas wishlist. Yeah, 2020.
Reason #6
A 103-year-old woman beat COVID-19 and celebrated with a Bud Light.
This one would be even better if Anheuser-Busch was our client. But, nonetheless, you can’t argue with a comeback story about a blind nursing home resident stricken by COVID. The family said their final goodbyes to the great-great-grandmother. When asked if she was ready to go to heaven, the feisty centurion replied, "Hell, yes." But, as it turned out, heaven wasn’t ready for her. The blind, bed-ridden woman survived, and once out the woods asked to toast her recovery with her favorite beverage, an ice-cold Bud Light.
It was a great year for Division of Labor head of security, Mort Denberg, pictured here with the guy who picks up his crap.
Reason #7
There’s No Better Time to be a Dog
2020 has been heaven for dogs. They love this COVID thing. Masks and PPE shortages be damned. Everybody stuck in the house, wearing the same clothes day after day, smelling like a wet sweater that’s been wrapped around a dead trout. Our dogs haven’t been left alone since lockdown started. Prior to 2020, dogs were left in the house for hours while we drove to an office to sit in a cubicle and not talk to 90% of the people there. These days our dogs rule the world. They’re always lighting up our Zoom calls and they’re gonna hate this vaccine more than vacuum cleaners.
Reason #8
Endless Fodder for Saturday Night Live
SNL, one of the longest-running TV series in broadcast history, has gone thru many iterations. Some seasons epic, others epic fails. But with all that’s gone wrong in 2020, coming up with crowd-pleasing comedy sketches is like shooting fish in a barrel. We will miss Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump, and Kate McKinnon as Rudy Giuliani. But we look forward to more Jim Carey cameos as our lovable, albeit doddering and slightly demented, leader of the free world.
Alec Baldwin as the Big Orange Machine and Kate McKinnon as Rudy G. 2020 at its best.
Well, that’s all. Wishing all advertising agency insiders and anyone else who got sucked into reading this blog post a very happy Thanksgiving. Stay safe. Stay healthy and let the holiday merriment commence.
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The Small Agency Blog is produced by Division of Labor; a top San Francisco ad agency and digital marketing firm that’s been named Small Agency of the Year twice by Ad Age. The award-winning creative shop services clients on a retainer or project basis. They also offer brand consulting services and hourly engagements for startups and smaller brands. Click here for a free consultation.